Dear Tarek and Anne,

Parenting is the sum of contradicting emotions.
Those first few weeks can be really hard, and sometimes even innocuous questions from friends and family can set you off. 
Like when a few days after the birth, your family says, "Oh wow, you two must just be loving every minute!"
And even after the first weeks, there are those really long nights.
Like when it's 3 AM, and you have gently cradled your baby back to sleep for the fifth time of the night...
But you haven't! Soon, you'll get a handle of things, and you will feel a bit more confident.
When you do, it's important to remember not to compare yourselves to other parents, or fall into the trap of judging them. 
Like when you see parents give a little juice to their 10-month old....
​Tarek, if you don't know already, patriarchy can be shitty for men too. 

​​Like when a childcare provider asks whether a piece of clothing belongs to your kid, and you definitively say, "No, that's not ours" and they ask you to ask Anne...
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But there are some areas that you may not know much about and may be less helpful.

Like when you show Anne breastfeeding tips...
If Anne does breastfeed for a bit, both of you will be happy to know that dealing with poo is actually not that bad. Doesn't really smell too horrible and relatively easy to clean.
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But when that kid gets on formula and solid foods...
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The worst is when you finally make it out of the house, maybe go to a restaurant, and the server is just about to bring your food, and you see the baby making their poop face...
Remember that parenting is a team sport, and sometimes that means not doing everything together but just helping the other recover. They'll appreciate it.

​Like when your partner offers to take the baby for a walk, so you can eat, sleep, or bathe in peace.
But in all the chaos, sleep deprivation, and dirty diapers, there are unthinkable moments of joy.
When the world is burning, you will be saved by dancing with your baba, making them laugh, and playing silly games.
And when they first laugh, or say their first words, or look to you for comfort, or say "I love you," or just about do anything for the first time, well...there are no words.

Only memes.
Photo from orca_bc